Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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