I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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