It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
