I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
