is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize