haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
