a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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