The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
