I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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