Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
