Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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