you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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