Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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