I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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