I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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