im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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