About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
