Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
3 2 1 whiskey
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
