somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize