I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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