He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
