I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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