As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize