I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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