There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
