At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
