Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
