I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize