Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
