when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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