Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
