make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
