seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
