I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
