Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish you could order shots online.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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