It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
