That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
