It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
