This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
