I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
