As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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