Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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