I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
