He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize