what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
