I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
