So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
