I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
