Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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