You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
