My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
