can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
