He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize