Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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