I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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