had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
