Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
