I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize