On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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