Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
