Cold hands, warm shart.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
