i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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